Unfortunately the story is simply too long. But I can laugh me again and again, when I read the. Here we go:
A man is on trial, because he killed his wife.
Judge: "this is a very brutal crime. If you want to calculate with some mild, you must specify a rationale already us."
Man: "that was stupid, I had to just kill that!"
Judge: 'this is so much worse. If you don't want that you should speak the jury guilty from the outset, then give a plausible explanation us please."
To the man: "this was as follows. We lived in a high-rise building in the 13th century. Stock and a lovely Porter family lived on the first floor, which had three children. It was horrible! That had been so small by nature. The twelve was 80 cm long, the 19 year-old 90 cm. I came up to my wife one day and say: "This is something wrong with the children of our Porter family."
"Yes," my wife says "this is a real Pyrenean gender."
I say: "No, what you mean, are Pygmies."
"No," says my wife, "pygmies, that is what the man beneath the skin, of which he gets freckles."
I say: "That's pigment."
"No," says my wife, "pigment, to the ancient Romans have written."
I say: "This is parchment."
"No," says my wife, "Parchment is when a writer starts something and doesn't end…"
Judge, you can imagine, the fragment I choked me, I sit in my chair and read a newspaper. Suddenly my wife with a set comes, I think now she's ready for insane asylum – 'Honey, look what this is!'
It makes a book, shows on a passage and says:
'The Sun of Handtäschchens was the teacher of the pimp 15'
I take the book to me and say: but honey, that's a French book, it says: La Marquise de Pompadour est la Maitresse de Louis XV. "That is to say: the marquise of Pompadour was the mistress of Louis the 15."
"No," says my wife, "you have to translate this literally:"
La Marquise – the Sun
Pompadour – the pouch
La Maitresse – the teacher
Louis XV – the pimp 15
I must finally perfectly well know that, I've hired a legionnaire extra for my French lessons."
I say: "Do you think an editor."
"No," my wife says "An editor was the Greek hero of antiquity."
I say: "this was Hector, and was the Trojans."
"No," my wife says, "Hector is a square measure."
I say: "This is a hectare."
"No," my wife says "Hectares is the drink of the gods."
I say: "This is the nectar."
"No," says my wife, "Nectar is a river in southern Germany."
I say: "This is the Neckar".
My wife: "you know, probably, not the beautiful song: soon I grass on the nectar, soon I grass on the Rhine!" I sang the other day that in the duo with my girlfriend."
I say: "It means Duet."
"No," my wife says "Duet is, when two men with a sword against one another."
I say: "This is a duel."
"No," my wife says, "Duel is when a railway from a dark sinister mountain hole comes out."
"Judge – because I took a hammer and have killed them…"
Awkward silence, then the judge:
"Acquittal, I had them when Hector killed…"